Chemo Day 1

So, it’s 12:30pm and I just got back from my first round of chemo. My central line is looking good and it feels much better today. It still hurts, but I’m able to function without any Tylenol 3’s which makes me happy because Tylenol 3’s cause constipation. My brain is slowly turning to mush however, as I forgot all of my daily medication at the hospital. As I type this Jim and Sandi (In-laws) are on their way back to the hospital to get them for me. This is actually quite fitting since I wanted today’s topic to be about support and the people who have stepped up to the plate to help out.

I’ve always valued my independence, and I will admit to seeing my grandparents in the nursing home and thinking how glad I was to be in control of my own life. I always said that if I ever ceased to be able to take care of myself I would rent a plane and go skydiving without a parachute. There’s never a plane around when you need one is there….

Anyway, I know things are going to get much worse before they get better and I’m slowly coming to the realization that help is one of the greatest gifts one person can give another. Caity and I are way over our heads with newborn twins and this whole transplant thing, and if it wasn’t for people like Jim and Sandi Price and my mom, I’m not sure where we’d be right now.

I’m going to start with my mom first. She’s already been up here to help with our move into the new house and she single-handedly cleaned the old house, which was a horrible, horrible two-day job that Caity and I were dreading. She went home about two weeks ago because the twins were still in the hospital and there was nothing for her to do. She’s planning on coming back up on November 11^th to help Caity out with the twins and I think she’s staying until I’m able to function on my own. For those of you more doped up than I am right now, that is a three to six month commitment. I know she’s my mom, but I’m still amazed at how quickly she volunteered her services without giving the slightest consideration to her own life. She and Dave just bought a new house in Halliburton and are renovating, plus it’s her first year of retirement. I must admit that I’m feeling rather guilty for taking her away from what is supposed to be her down time.

Now on to Jim and Sandi. I can’t remember a single day since I’ve known them that I haven’t felt like a part of the family. Their love and support has been unconditional and I can honestly say that Caity and I would not be in this beautiful city right now if it wasn’t for their extreme generosity with their time, money, and continuous help. If I were to list all the times they have come to our rescue, we’d exceed the maximum storage capacity for Jim’s website. Right now they are living at our house for the time being to help with the house, the twins, and providing emotional, not to mention vehicular support with my daily hospital visits. I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but several of my medications are making me quite stupid, so I need a chaperone anytime I need to go anywhere. Since Caity is physically attached to the babies food supply, that leaves Jim and Sandi to do all the shuttle work to and from the hospital (two hour round trip not counting time spent in the hospital).

I wish there was a way to adequately thank them for everything they’ve done for me. Ask any of their children or friends and I’m sure they would say the same regarding everything that Jim and Sandi have done for them. If everyone was to find a way to pay them back for all their help and support, I’m sure they would be the richest people on the face of the earth. My only wish is that Caity and I can become half the parents they were, and are to their kids and extended family.

If you read that last part about Jim and Sandi, then hopefully you’ll understand why I chose to take their last name when Caity and I got married. A lot of people have questioned my reasoning behind the whole name change, and some actually think it was a personal slight against my father who adopted me when I was very young. All I can say to that is that without my father’s upbringing, I would be doubting my chances at survival right now. He is the one who taught me about strength, dedication, and belief in my own abilities and I can honestly say that he is the reason I’m the tough sonofabitch I am today. I know I don’t tell him enough, but I truly love him dearly and rely on his strength to get me through a lot of my life’s little (or big) hurdles. I just wish I were more able to tell him that in person.

Speaking of love and support, I hope nobody minds that Jim and I have been posting your emails to the website. Our friend Nancy came up with the idea and I think it’s a fantastic addition to the journal. Speaking of additions, now that I’m on the heavy chemo, I’ve decided to include with every journal entry, my blood levels, and current medications. This is for those clinical types who enjoy the little details that will rule my life for the next six months. My blood work today was still normal today since nothing significant s happened yet, but tomorrow’s numbers should show a drop in my levels. It looks like I’ve got a couple more days with the twins and my lovely wife before my counts fall low enough to require full time hospitalization.

There has been some debate as to whether or not I’m getting a phone in my room since the cost is very prohibitive. I’ll start getting severe mouth sores in a week due to the chemo as well, and I’ve been told that talking and eating are going to be a constant adventure in new levels of pain yet to be discovered. Think of having canker sores that cover the inside of your mouth and tongue and go all the way down to your stomach. They’ve got a public phone in the lounge that I can use to call home and check messages, and I’ll have my email as well but chances are I’ll have just enough energy to do the journal and not much else. Well, we’ll see. After all I am one tough sonofabitch!!!