Day +14 And off goes the Esophagus

Hi Everyone

Don't look for a funny entry here as I'm in a rather somber mood. I was
given the authorization to go for a day pass since my counts were doing
great. I was getting ready to pack when I coughed once. That one cough,
must have dislodged a piece of dead tissue or something else, because my gag
reflex kicked in and made my vomit. The only problem with this particular
session was the fact that the whatever it was in my throat was letting barf
out, but no air back in. So for about 30 seconds of this I thought I was
going to die. The doctors and nurses do not seem to be worried, but I'm not
terribly excited to go to bed. If I cough once in my sleep and that thing
starts choking me, Who the hell is going to know I'm in trouble. I realize
that they've dealt with this a thousand times before, but this is my first
time and I'm really scared.

My best description of what it feels like is this. Someone has shoved a
ping pong ball into my throat and every time I breathe the ping pong ball
blocks the air from getting to my lungs. I've managed to find positions in
which I have a partial airway, but it hasn't worked very well on the first
two attempts.

I think I've learned to be tough around here in other ways and with other
procedures that they do to me, but I feel like a 6 year old boy on a scary
amusement park ride. I don't know when this is going to end, and while it's
happening I'm not sure if I'm going to live through it.

With the amount of emails I got today, I doubt I will be able to get an
reply out to everyone so I apologize in advance. I do however have a very
important question regarding my current choking problem. If you or anyone
you know has a suggestion on how to more effectively deal with the problem I'm
having I need to know ASAP. If you could change the subject line to
"choking", I'll know which ones to read first. Thanks in advance for your
help.

Thanks for reading, but I've got to cut this short. I'm starting to have a
bit of nausea, and I need to get to my room right now.

Adam