Day +6 Eye of the Tiger

November 16^th 11:00 pm

The mouth sores started today. It’s nothing I can’t deal with right now, but it’s starting to get uncomfortable. My lip corners are cracking and making anything thicker than pizza a living hell. I’ve passed the time by eating pudding, pizza and instant breakfast shakes. I’ve discovered that if you mix a chocolate instant breakfast with a hot chocolate powder and chocolate milk, you get quite a fulfilling snack. It’s the equivalent of pouring chocolate tar down your throat, and hoping that you don’t suffocate. Of course, if your going to go, chocolate should be involved in some way, shape or form.

At the other end of things (literally), my body has been making me feel equally unpleasant. My body is starting to clean out the system so all the dead cells are exiting my body in the best way they know how. I’ve had at least 10 full size “movements” in the past 24 hours. The reason I think it’s dead cells is because I’m sure my digestive system was rather empty as of day three in the chemotherapy. Anyway, all the traffic down there has caused to area to get “irritated”. And …..You know, unlike the nipple story I know when to draw a line with this subject.

NEXT!!!

Ok, I can’t believe how many people have emailed me. I’ve tried to put all of them up on the website, but if I missed yours, or you want information changed or removed please email me. It took me about an hour to simply check my new emails for today. I’ve had offers to help from complete strangers and I’m just starting to understand what it means to be a cancer survivor.

I’ve been walking the line between survivor and denial for quite a while. I always had the thought that there was no way I would ever look as bad as a cancer patient. I mean look at them. They’re frail, they have no hair, they can’t even take care of themselves. Right?

Wrong.

Walking around in here I’ve seen some people who fit the stereotype I just mentioned. The only way they don’t fit the cancer patient stereotype is when you look in their eyes. I’m not sure what exactly the “Eye of the Tiger” is, but Rocky had it, and every single person on this ward has it. I’ve gone through nothing compared to some of the patients in unit 57, and they’re still fighting as hard as day one. And if they win the fight against cancer, is that enough? For many, the answer is no and they go on to fight cancer on a larger scale. There seems to be an unwritten mentorship program because at least half of the emails I got today were from survivors offering their help and guidance.

I wanted to thank everyone for your emails, they really made my day. Once again it was a slow day for medical news, and I’m sorry I couldn’t provide any more detail into the “posterior problem”. It’s only 11:30 but I think I will turn in early.

Once again, to everyone out there who is reading this. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.