Day +8 Here come the Sores

Thursday, November 18, 2004 12:19 AM

> Well, so much for the uneventful day. The mouth sores have come in with a
> vengeance. They run all along the sides and underneath my tongue. I'm not
> even going to bother describing what kind of pain I feel when I yawn. I
> asked the doctor how long to expect this to last, and I was told that once
> my levels start coming up again, the sores should go away. But I'm looking
> at about a week before my counts come up.
>
> To deal with the mouth sores, I was put on Codeine this afternoon which did
> nothing. I am now on IV Morphine to help the pain and I've got a substance
> called a "Pink Lady" which is a mixture of Maalox and some kind of local
> freezing medicine. This stuff coats every pipe and then numbs it right up.
> I was NOT ready for that sensation last night and almost pushed the nurse's
> button because I thought I was going into anaphylactic shock. I'm not
> kidding, that Pink Lady stuff really knocks the nerve endings out!!! I did
> find out however regarding my mouth sores that things will most likely get
> worse before they get better. Lucky for me, I can deal with the pain. It's
> the nausea that I can't stand.
>
> On the nausea front, my shallow-bottomed green puke bucket has not seen
> action for almost a full week. My back muscles have finally healed, and you
> should see the abs I'm getting. I guess losing 10 pounds in a week and
> constantly puking does wonders for melting the fat off the abdomen. I
> thought I looked good before, but man I am one sexy beast right now. It's
> too bad that some of these medications that I'm on "quiet the beast within",
> or I'd be living it large on Unit 57 ;-)
>
> While we're on looks, I have an open question out there regarding hair loss.
> I still have all my hair, and it hurts to pull it out. I was under the
> impression that I would see some kind of hair loss by now, but not a hair
> has fallen yet. Are there any warning signs like itching that signify that
> you are about to lose your hair? I'm not concerned at all about losing my
> hair, I just want to know if it's going to happen this week or not.
>
> Anyway, I know that I talked a little about the emails I've been getting
> last night, but I received some tonight that really touched my heart. There
> is one person I have been in contact with that knows a four year old boy who
> BEAT Leukemia. This has been the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'm old
> enough to understand what's going on. I don't believe there is a measuring
> device capable of coming close to measuring that little boy's strength.
> Gavin, I don't even know you, but YOU are my new inspiration. Everything
> that I'm going through, you probably went through so my goal now is to be as
> tough as you. Hang in there kid.
>
> There was another person I wanted to give a shout out to. Lisa, I was
> serious in my email to you, please get in touch if you need anything. Your
> situation is a bit different than mine, but I figure that we may be able to
> compare notes and kick the shit out of this stupid disease.
>
> I'm actually quite surprised how quickly this entry hit the page. I've
> honestly been having trouble writing this last little while but I think I'm
> over my writers block. I'm pretty sure that the stress of knowing that way
> more people are reading this than I originally imagined got to me the last
> couple of nights. I can remember sitting down to the keyboard and drawing a
> blank about what to write. However, thanks to everyone who emailed me in
> the last couple of days, because you have given me the fuel to keep going.
>
> I have one last thing that I want to say before I go to bed. The nurses
> here kick all kinds of ass. Anyone who is able to deal with all the bodily
> fluids that I produce is worthy of a medal in my eyes. I guess knowledge of
> my website is passing through the nursing staff here, and I have been
> instructed to mention the following fact.
>
> The following message is brought to you by the Nursing Staff of Unit 57
> THE ICE MACHINE IS
> BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> Since I will also be requiring the services of the ice machine in the next
> two days to sooth my poor mouth, I must join forces with the nursing staff
> and request that the ice machine be fixed as soon as possible. It should be
> mentioned, that in the event of civil unrest at the Foothills Medical
> Centre, due to the ice machine fiasco, this web diary, and it's contents
> will become rabid supporters for any causes the nursing staff wish to
> support. I figure it's the least I can do for the people who clean up and
> process everything that comes out of me.
>
> All joking aside, to all the staff on Unit 57, I owe you my life. This
> place does not scare me because I have seen the kind of people who work
> here. I know in my heart that I could not have better care anywhere else.
>
> So lets fix that Ice machine people.
>
> Goodnight