It figures. I'm in here on the verge of getting out and rejoining society,
and it looks like there's a new pill on the market to take over where my
poor little Gleevec failed me the first time. Oh well, I'm actually not mad
at all. I'm very happy to see such huge advances in cancer research and I'm
glad that Leukemia happens to be one of the cancers that they seem to be
blowing large holes in these days.
In fact, I would say that I have valued every day I've spent in here. I
would be far less of a man if I was still just taking a few pills and going
on with my day like a regular human being. I am not a regular human being.
I am a cancer survivor. I never wanted to use that term before since all I
was doing was taking a few pills a day. However, now I have been through a
round of chemo, I have spend over one month in a hospital bed, I have had to
deal with more vomiting and runny shit than most people do in a lifetime,
and I've got another six months of wondering if the procedure worked.
Today I feel I have earned the right to call myself a survivor.
Do you know in the movie the Princess Bride, when Weasley and Buttercup are
surrounded by Humperdink's men after they emerge from the fireswamp? Well,
Leukemia is my fireswamp. I've been through the chemo, I've been through a
lot, and the reason I call myself a survivor is that I KNOW I could do it
all over again if I had to. Don't get me wrong, the Tom Baker is not a
place I'd like to build a summer home in or anything, but I have been tested
by this building and this disease, and I know I have proven something very
important to myself.
I'm 175 pounds today. I entered into this whole thing at about 205 so my
joke about going on the 30 pounds in 30 days weight loss plan seems to have
come true. Instead of the 6 pack abs and the chiseled chest I thought I
would have :-) I seem to have completely lost all the muscle tone in my lower
body. My body went and pulled all of the nutrients it required over the
past month from my muscle tissue instead of my fat. So I've still got some
paunch, but my ass and thighs have completely disappeared. I went to run
upstairs today at home and made it to the tenth step before collapsing on the
second landing for a breather.
For those of you who just caught that last line and are still processing it,
let me type it again.
"I went to run upstairs today AT HOME!!!!!"
That's right people. The reason for my absence is that for the past two
days, I have had a 6 hour day pass at home. I have re-bonded with my kids,
I have cuddled with my wife, and I have eaten very well. My doctor is very
optimistic about sending me home to sleep tomorrow and I am all for it. It
is amazing how much more energized you feel outside of a hospital. I step
out those double sliding doors at the entrance to the Tom Baker Cancer
Centre and although nobody can see it behind the surgical mask, I'm grinning
like an idiot every time. Now that my appetite is back, I can start taking
more medications by mouth. Once I'm more self sufficient and the doctors
decide that I'm ready, I'll be transferred to unit 58b. It's an outpatient
clinic for cancer patients and it's just down the hallway. Patients drive
in every day, and get their meds and vitals checked and then get the hell
out of there. All I know is I can't wait to crawl into bed beside my
wonderful wife and hold her until I fall asleep. My platelets are also
strong enough to support some light weight lifting. Get ready body, you
thought cancer was hard on you, wait till I'm done with you.
Prediction: I will be 225 pounds of solid muscle by next Christmas.
Caity's mom says that I'm perfect just the way that I am. In fact, aside
from the bald head, most people say I look rather normally built for a guy
right now. But, as most of you have already determined, I don't usually let
myself be satisfied with the concept of normal. 2005 will be a rebuilding
year, but wait till you see me then.
Speaking of seeing me in 2005, I want to alert readers to a slight change I
think I might make to the format of this journal. Once I go home, I want to
concentrate my time on re-building what I have lost, so I will be cutting
back on the entries. I will post a couple times a week, but I'm finding
that I have too much drive right now to stick my ass in front of a computer
screen and type for three hours. Those three hours will now be spent
working out, and I will take advantage of the fact that I'll have my kitchen
back again to cook some serious power food.
Now, this timeline only works if I am able to keep the big forms of graft vs
host disease away. Aside from that, it's waiting for my medications to go
away so my new immune system can start fighting on it's own. I do have
white blood cells right now, but they are reduced in effectiveness, by the
immuno-suppressant drugs, so places like offices, malls, movie theatres,
sports stadiums will be dangerous to me until I can fight germs on my own.
Well, that's about it. Here's hoping that this is one of the last times I
find myself alone at a public computer in the patient wing of the Tom Baker
Cancer Centre.
Adam (Survivor) Price
Just a quick note to all you guys. I just got my blood counts from this
morning.
Blood Product Normal Yesterday Today
Red blood cells 130ish 109 109 (needs work)
Platelets 150-500 61 66 (able to shave with a razor now)
White blood cells 4-7 1.2 3.5 YEAH BABY
WBC-Neutrophils over one is good 0.9 2 POINT FUCKING 8 BABY
run around willy nilly with no surgical mask. Everyone is going to see my
smile tomorrow, and I've been given the expressed written permission to kiss
the hell out of my wife. I blew everyone away with today's blood work I
guess, because they've been waiting to tell me ever since I left.
Anyway, I'm off to talk to my beautiful wife in the common room since I let
the cable and phone go in my room. I've also got to go find a non-used TV
around here so I can watch Extreme Home Makeover tonight. My right eye is
still a little blurry, so I can't read the Lance Armstrong book I got, but I
think cranky buddy boy over in the next lounge is getting pissed off with
the lack of television on TV. Luckily he looks, really tired so I should be
able to catch Extreme Home Makeover after he goes to bed. Some part of me
hopes that he is doing well, but frankly, I'm too happy about my blood
numbers to worry too much about others tonight.
Night everyone
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