Day +73

God I feel like shit today. Yesterday was the first day of the lowered Prednesone dosage (down to 20 from 30) and all of my energy is gone. I hurt all over and I've got a hell of a headache. This is my body's friendly way of saying it's not happy with the lowered dose of steroids. I'm actually quite astonished by how much I can be affected by a difference in 10mg of a drug. As usual, the lowered steroid dosage makes me pee like a racehorse, and I was up 4 or 5 times last night. I officially have no water left in me. That's probably where the headache is coming from.

Never fear my faithful readers, this to shall pass. It usually takes a day or two to adjust to the new steroid dose. We'll do this same dance next week, and then again the week after. For those with poor math skills, that means that I should be off the Prednesone by February 3rd, unless they've got a different plan for the last 10 mg. With this last drop, Caity says she can see the real me coming back. I have to admit, I'm feeling more and more like the old me as time goes on. I've thrown out the rage'o'meter because there's been no rage. There's just been a whole lot of tired. I get 12 hours of sleep a night thanks to the Supermom, and I still feel like shit until about 5pm.

As the drugs go down, I think my brain is coming back. I'm feeling really non-stimulated intellectually right now, and I need something to do about it. I was hesitant to take some more of my accounting courses, because I was finding that I did not have the brain functions to concentrate on making dinner, let alone a professional accounting course. I'm still stupid a lot of the time, but I'd really like to start getting back to my life.

You know, I really am blessed right now. Caity and I have raised ourselves a neat little family here. I spent the first hour of m day this morning holding Kayla, while Caity sat beside my with Ara. I was petting Newton (our fat cat) while Bruno (Newton's smaller brother) curled himself up at Caity's feet. Both dogs were on their beds on the floor beside us, and the sun was shining. It was one of those moments when you look around and say, "you know what, I've got a pretty good life". Cancer has given me this time with my kids and today I'm finding it hard to not enjoy the fact that I'm on disability. I've gotten to know the twins in a way that most fathers don't. Don't get me wrong, I would never go through chemo again even if it meant a whole year off work with full pay, but it has had some perks.

Well, that's about it for me today. I do have one other note I want to add before I go. Watch the new Battlestar Galactica series on the Space channel. I was a huge fan of the original series, and they've done an amazing job with the new one. It's like what Tim Burton did for the first Batman movie. It's dark, moody, and the camera shots are amazing. I admit that I love my TV viewing and I watch more than I should, but I would give up all other TV to watch only this series for the rest of my life. Well, the new Battlestar Galactica series, and classic Star Trek reruns......and everything on FoodTV but that's all!!!!