Day +112 Remission?

Remission. It's an interesting word. I find myself having trouble saying it without getting a little choked up. There's a lot of emotion behind that one little word that I didn't know existed untill I heard the word used to describe me this morning. I am, as of February 3rd 2005 am in cytogenic remission. That basically means that there is no sign of the Leukemia in my body. According to another, fancier, more expensive test, I still have the genetic material that causes the cancer, but they can't tell how much there is left. The doctors told me that there was a slim chance to be at this stage at the three month mark, and they prepared me rather well for the test results to be Leukemia positive for the next 6 to 9 months. Now that I'm here, I find myself at a loss for how and what to feel. I mean, it's not like I can go back to my normal life yet. I'm still recovering from the whole bone marrow transplant deal which seems to be the only thing I'm fighting right now. I still can't go back to work, and I still can't go out and enjoy a movie, or a trip to the mall. Nothing has changed, yet in the same breath, everything has changed.

Speaking of change, I am as we speak regrowing my shimmering golden locks of hair. Last week in Canmore my hair just decided to come in so I'm letting it go to see what it does. As of today, it feels like a really close buzz cut, with only a few small thinner patches on the back of my head. I find myself rubbing my head constantly, simply because the feeling of hair is still a new sensation. Oh, and yes for those of you wondering, there is new hair everywhere else as well. And when I say everywhere else, I mean everywhere else. My shoulders and back are covered in a soft fine baby hair. I have a full chest of hair and it goes ALL the way down to my toes if you know what I mean. It's really itchy at times, but luckily the rash on my hands itches worse so I don't notice the back hair itch as much. I'm hoping that all this extra hair will fall out as I come off the drugs, and I promise that I will never EVER joke about my chest hair as "looking like a chemotherapy patient" ever again.