Day +128 Slacker

I've been informed that I don't write in my journal enough anymore. In my defense, I live the same day, day in and day out. I'm stuck in the movie Groundhog Day is seems with Caity and I doing the same thing every day. It's not our fault though. Having one baby is a chore, but we've discovered that twins are more than the sum of their parts. Together they form a super baby, requiring at least two and a half times the care of two separate babies.

I'm more than likely exaggerating the work requirement of twins, but some days it seems like they are too much work. I'm having a rather significant bout of fatigue lately and that makes everyday life seem harder than it really is. Right now the best I can manage is to go to the dog park and watch TV all night. The reason Caity and I sit around and do nothing except go to the dog park once a day is twofold.

Reason #1

I'm too tired to do much, and getting out of the house has become more difficult. You try finding places to go with 5 month old twins and an immuno-suppressed husband that can't be around crowds or sick people.

reason #2

We're freaking poor right now. My long term disability gets paid once a month at the end of the month. Since I went on long term disability at the end of February, I don't get paid until the end of March. Combine that with Caity's reduced maternity benefits, and we're effectively working on 1/2 an income until I get my monthly deposit.

Truth be told there is a reason number three. I'm still afraid to go out in public. I'm afraid of getting sick again and ending up in the hospital fighting a nasty virus. Take pneumonia for example. Pneumonia could seriously complicate (and shorten) my life, and it turns out that someone who was in my house not more than a couple of days ago has come down with pneumonia. Right now, the glands in my neck are swollen and sore, but I haven't developed a fever yet so Caity and I are just sitting around waiting to see if I get sick or not. It seems like only the kids in the Price/Bregliano/Cooper family are getting sick, but since my immune system is essentially the youngest in the whole family, I'm almost expecting to get it. I've read how nasty pneumonia can be on a bone marrow transplant patient's body, and I do not want that by any stretch of the imagination.

So I'm afraid that I'm going to get sick and die, but more than that, I'm angry at myself for letting the rules slide when it comes to my recovery. I've been living a little wild (well, for a recovering transplant patient) and that needs to stop. I've come too far to be stopped by a little nasty piece of viral RNA.

That's it for tonight. If I remember, I'll complain a bit more about being tired all the time in my next entry. It really sucks and it's a constant hurdle in my quest to regain a normal existence. At least my hands aren't cracked and bleeding anymore. It makes for easier cleanup when I can actually touch cleaning products without wincing in pain.