Day +131

I felt like a human being today. I woke up and felt pretty good so I cleaned the kitchen and bathed to girls. After that I made an appointment with the bank to nail down some short term financing for the summer until our stock can be sold. In other words, I had a normal person day. I was productive, I was out in public and I was downtown. It was great. I would have stopped off at work, but it was past 4 when I was done at the bank, and Caity was picking me up with kids in tow. It's amazing what you miss when you're gone for a while.

I'm finally getting over my scare with pneumonia. The lymph nodes in my neck are not as sore, and I actually did a 40 minute workout on the elliptical machine at level 13 last night. I'm going to be starting a very basic workout schedule this week and when I say basic, I mean basic. My last attempt to start a workout program ended up in disaster so I've got to start from square one this time. I feel like one of those old ladies on television that does aerobics sitting in a chair. My shoulders have no strength in them at all, same with my hips and since I'd like to go back to the gym in April, I need to at least get my body warmed up to the feeling of lifting weight again.

Right now, I'm going solo with the kids since Mom is out at a movie. We came to the conclusion that we don't get out enough, but finding a sitter willing to take twins is difficult. We're also having trouble trusting strangers with our kids, but we feel that the Price family sitters have been overworked as of late and need a break. We've found a lady who baby-sits other twins, and has come highly recommended by the twin's mother so that makes me feel a bit better. I can't remember the last time I got out of the house with my wife that wasn't a trip to the hospital. I'm even willing to go out to a girlie movie if it doesn't involve drawing blood or getting x-rayed.

So if I keep getting better, it will be time to think about going back to work soon. I wish I knew what the hell was going on with that. The doctors are not willing to give me a firm date, and they've basically said that with bone marrow transplant patients, 50% are back to work within one year. My long term disability benefits are covered until December so I could theoretically ride this baby until Christmas without breaking any rules. Technically I'm making more money on disability than I was when I was working. I only get 66% of my salary, but I don't pay to commute, and I don't get taxed on my disability income. Problem is that I've never been great with sitting on my butt. My dad raised me too well to pull something like that, so I'm still aiming for July 1st as a start date. I want to make sure that I can handle a full day's work first, so we'll see how my fatigue changes as I drop some more of my medications over the next month. I really am looking forward to getting back to a normal working man's life, I just don't know when that date is yet.

My only regret for wanting to go back to work, is that I'll miss my kids. I've had such a wonderful opportunity staying at home and watching them develop and I know that not many men get this chance. I think that's why dads are more distant with their kids than moms. It's simply a matter of staying home and being with them. If you watch them enough, you start to see and hear the things that only moms seem to notice. Caity is still the master of that ability, but I like to think that I know my kids better than most dads out there. It's been a blessing being well enough to enjoy the twins this last couple of months, and that's the biggest thing I'll miss when I go back.

However, they're both going ape-shit right now so I've got to go feed them. I won't miss the screaming, but I will miss everything else.