Day +168 Pools are worse than Westjet

So, this is the two year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis, and it passed by without too much fanfare. I suggested going out to celebrate, but Caity was hesitant about celebrating one of the worst days of our lives. Go figure.

My doctor's visit today yielded no new positive results. Right now, my energy levels are at an all time low, and according to the hospital records, I've been losing about 2/3 of a kilogram every week for the past two months. I was told by the dietician that it was anything goes right now as far as diet is concerned. I've never heard a dietician ever say it was alright (and highly recommended) to mix ice cream in with my weight gain shakes that I now have to drink. She said as plain as day that it didn't matter what I ate, just as long as I got enough calories right now. It's frustrating mostly because on paper my blood tests indicate that I'm in perfect health. Right now, there's nothing left to do except treat me for anything that pops up that might be harmful to my health. Other than that, I've got to just except that I'm going to have low grade nausea, and no energy until my body decides it doesn't want to be tired and pukey. When will it stop? Anywhere from one day to the rest of my life. Well, at least they've given me a range to work with.

I have one bit of advice for anyone out there in my situation. Don't set deadlines for yourself. All you're going to do is set yourself up for failure. I was supposed to be back at the gym by April 1st. I was supposed to be done my internet course by the end of April. Currently, I haven't worked out in almost a month, and I have barely broken the spine on my textbook. Right now, just getting up before noon, and going for a walk in the dog park are two parts of a very successful day. That's about all I've got right now.

I also found out that I'm allowed to go on a plane right now, but I've got to wait a full year before I'm allowed in a public pool. We all know that planes are germ factories, but just how bad are the conditions in a public pool that they pale in comparison to a crowded Westjet flight? That means no aqua-tots class for me. I'm going to miss watching the kids play in the water, but the thought of spending for than 10 seconds in the kiddie pool really grosses me out. Did you know that waterproof diapers do nothing but keep the poop out of the water. That's a lot of kiddie pee in the kiddie pool.

That's all I've got in me tonight. I'm really wiped out, and I need some sleep. Goodnight.

Day +162

I think I've started to write this journal entry about a dozen times, and every time I end up erasing it. I keep tripping over old ghosts from my past. So I'll just say this past week has been a great week, and a lousy one as well.

The source of the joy has been the visit from my biological father. He came up to Calgary, and got to meet the Price family, and the twins. He and I have only met two times before, but it sounds like there will be many more meetings in the future, and I really look forward to that.

The lousy part of the week comes from the low energy I've been experiencing. I'm exhausted, and I have really dry skin all over me. My favorite pastime right now is scratching my body raw in places and pulling the dead skin bits off of my lips. I did manage to go for a small walk in the woods today. I even tested out the double baby harness that Caity and I bought. My back feels like murder from having two 14 pound babies strapped to my chest for half an hour, but all in all I think I did all right all things considered.

Well, I'm on baby duty until Caity gets back from skiing, so I'd better make this quick. I'm going to wait until my doctor's appointment on Wednesday to write again. Hopefully this skin issue isn't graft vs. host coming back, but we'll know more on Wednesday.

Day +155 The Amish

I had my last weekly trip to the hospital yesterday. From now on, I only need to go every 2 weeks, and soon it will be only once a month. I have no idea what I'm going to do with the extra time that is now on my hands. I'm so used to waking up on Wednesday and just expecting most of my day to be spent waiting at the hospital.

Oh, and for you other bone marrow transplant patients out there....at five and a half months post transplant, it is STILL not safe to eat spicy Jamaican patties unless you are willing to pay the price out the back door the very next day.

Actually, I'm not too concerned about the liquid fire coming out of my posterior since I've had MUCH worse in my lifetime. Let me take you back to my university years to tell you a story about the "FIRE STICKS"

It was in the formative years of my relationship with Caity that we discovered the fire sticks. We went to the St Jacob's Farmers Market one day for a look around and we came across an Amish deli of sorts. Homemade links of sausages hung from the windows and every sort and variety of smoked, cured meat product was available. Now, I've always loved a hot pepperoni stick and I found a variety called FIRE STICKS on one of the shelves. Being accustomed to false advertising in today's marketplace, I chuckled at the name and handed over my money.

Now, I guess the Amish have never heard of false advertising, because these things were INSANELY HOT!!!!! It was like the Amish sausage maker had learned how to stuff hellfire and brimstone into a meat flavored stick. But that wasn't the worse part. The worst was yet to come, and whether or not I wanted them to the FIRE STICKS would revisit me the next day......at work.

For those of you who didn't know, I had a job in the cash office of a grocery store in Guelph during my university years. The cash office was tucked away in the front corner of the store, and it was a small room with no windows to the outside world. In that room was all of the money the grocery store had on site and it was my job to keep it balanced and organized. Whenever I left the office, I had to lock all of the money up in the safe before I was allowed to leave. It was in this room that I had felt the first signs of gastro-intestinal trouble. Luckily for me, the staff washroom was on the other side of the store which made getting to the washroom in time a very difficult chore. Of course, on the way to the washroom, I got stopped by an elderly woman looking for horseradish. I think that's the hardest I've ever had to clench my butt cheeks together, but we found the horseradish. She probably wondered why I took off in a sprint to the back after we found it, but I didn't care. This was a matter of life and death now.

So after my first bout of liquid fire poo, I returned to the cash office, unlocked the safe, and pulled out all of the cash I was working on, just in time for the next wave of fire poo to hit. I had to lock up all the money again and make it to the washroom...again. This time, I sprinted the entire way, as to avoid as many shoppers as possible. I'm not sure how it was possible, but the second bout of fire poo was worse than the first. This went on for about an hour until my intestines were thourally emptied, and my back end felt like someone gave my butt 1000 paper cuts and then poured Tabasco sauce on it. It was only after I was sure that I was "cleansed" that I phoned the future Mrs. Price. She informed me that she had been going through the same thing and was currently sitting in a cold bath to find relief. We learned that day, to never EVER fuck with the Amish. If that's what they did to their customers, imagine what they could do to their enemies?

I wish the story ended there, but we never threw out the fire sticks. A week later, I was craving meat, and all we had was... you guessed it FIRE STICKS. Without thinking, I ate 2 or three, and then spent the rest of the night sweating and panting like a fool. Both Caity and I had to work the next morning and when Caity came home after her shift and checked the phone messages she heard this message from me.....

"Note to self.........THROW OUT FIRE STICKS!"

Remember folks, never fuck with the Amish, because sooner or later, they'll get you in the end.....

Day +150 Leukemia as a Plot Device Part 2

Well, everyone is sick here with some sort of cold. It's kind of weird because we've been hiding out in this house for the last couple of months hoping to keep the germs out. Now, nobody will come visit us because WE'RE sick. It's like we're in an alternate universe, but I don't have an evil Spock goatee.

Speaking of sickness, did anyone watch Third Watch last night? The reason I'm asking is because one of the main characters just got Leukemia. Now, everyone who reads this will already know of my hatred of movies and TV shows that use Leukemia as a plot device, but I've got a different problem about this one. Now, I've never seen Third Watch before, but Caity's mom loves the show and is here helping out while we're sick. After one show, I can honestly say that I won't be picking Third watch again as I found it highly unbelievable in every plot line they had. The worst plot line revolved around a female detective who was dying from Leukemia, but was too stubborn, scared, or whatever to get medical treatment. She finally went to the hospital, and the cameras decide to show us cancer patients sitting in dark, gloomy halls with IV's going into them. Every once and a while one of the patients would give the cameras a weak smile, and most of them looked like they were on death's door.

Now, if you're THAT sick from the Leukemia, or the chemo, or the Graft vs Host, YOU ARE NOT SITTING IN A DARKENED HALLWAY. YOU ARE IN A HOSPITAL BED!!! If anyone follows Third Watch, let me know how this plot line pans out, because I'm interested to see how accurately they portray Leukemia treatment. And at least this time the person with Leukemia isn't a murderer, rapist, etc. etc. like on CSI or Law and Order.

So let's get on to ACTUAL Leukemia treatments. I am now on only four types of medication, two of which are to fight the side effects of the other two medications. The doctors switched me to a lower potency anti-biotic which has been rumored to have less side effects. Right now I'm fighting a cold, and the effects of the new medication, so once both go away, I should find that I'm able to do more than I was able to do on the old medication. As of next week, my body is free of imuno-suppressents, so it will be the first real test run as to how well my new immune system functions on it's own.

And another thing. I think I've become a hospital addict. I go there so much I seem to miss it when I'm gone. I miss it so much that I'm signing myself up for more medical procedures. I've had varicose veins in my testicals since I was born, and that causes blood to collect down in the sack area. The good part is that it makes my testicals HUGE and MANLY, the bad part is that it hurts a lot. Before the vein problem was diagnosed, I had been to the hospital 2 times to get it looked at. The pain was so bad the first time that I went to the Emergency room. The unfriendly doctor squeezed them a few times VERY HARD and told me I was fine. After I was diagnosed with Leukemia, I had the boys looked at again, but this time they took me more seriously. An ultrasound from a VERY ATTRACTIVE woman finally found the problem. There is nothing more awkward then having one of the most beautiful woman you've ever seen repeatedly rubbing your groin with the ultrasound gun. (Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts)

Anyway, to make a long story short, the solution to the problem is to cut into the testicals and shorten the veins, but this carries a high risk of causing infertility. Well, at the time Caity and I were in the baby making process so the procedure was delayed. Now that we've got the twins, the plan is to go in for a procedure that will be a vein shortening/vasectomy combo. It will probably take six months to actually see a specialist who will then book the procedure for a year down the road, but at least the ball (pardon the pun) is rolling.

That's it for today. It's the season finale for Battlestar Galactica, so nobody bother me from 6-7 pm.

Have a great weekend

Day +146 What do you mean it's not real?

Ok, a little late, but that's ok. Let's get back to the topic at hand shall we?

I think that I would be dead right now if I was still living in the old rental house Caity and I lived in. There was mold everywhere, and I've yet to see another house in such a bad state of repair. I really wish I was kidding, but this house was gross. It also was only 475 a month for the entire house and it had a big backyard for the dogs, so I really shouldn't complain. Living in that house for a year allowed Caity and I to save for the house we're in now.

For those of you who don't know, Caity and I built a house in the SW corner of Calgary, and everything is brand new. There's no mold, no mysteries about what toxins may be in the air, it's probably more sanitary than the hospital room I lived in. I think that living in a clean environment has really helped keep the germs away from my fragile little immune system. Right now it looks like everyone including the twins is under the weather right now, but most of the time it's pretty easy to keep away from nasties in here.

Now, regarding the twins, they keep us BUSY!!!!!!! If I was left to my own devices, I would be a beached whale, permanently affixed to the La-Z-Boy watching Star Trek all day. With the kids, life is always moving, even if nobody in the house actually is. We're always holding them, or changing them, or entertaining them, so it's hard to notice some of the side effects that I usually experience throughout the day. I look at the clock and it seems to jump ahead by hours instead of minutes and before you know it, it's midnight, and the kids are in their cribs fast asleep.

I can understand the difficulties of producing twins on command for every bone marrow transplant patient, so I suggest that you find something else to keep you as busy as twins. Try making a time machine, or set a goal to figure out if the answer to the ultimate question is really 42. Both of those tasks should approximately equal the time requirements of raising twins. I guess if you break it right down to the basics, the morale is to not let yourself dwell on the cancer. If you can ignore it, you actually forget that you were ever sick.

And honestly, aside from trying to figure out financing for my company's stock plan, life hasn't been too stressful. Mind you, I 've been under the influence of a marijuana derivative for almost 5 months now, so that might be why I'm so relaxed.

That's it for today, and thanks to Jenn Jasinski for making me forget wrestling is fake for a few hours. Wrestlemania this year was a blast thanks to Jenn and her enthusiasm.

Day +143 Reflections

Don't move into a new house, have twins and schedule a bone marrow transplant all in the same month unless you really, truly enjoy being overwhelmed by stress - Me Nov 1st 2004

That's one of the first things I wrote in this journal of mine. It was even the opening quote in the Calgary Herald article on me in November. It is also 100% wrong. I would like to retract that statement and replace it with this one.

Don't Move into a new house, have twins and schedule a bone marrow transplant all in the same month unless you really, truly enjoy being overwhelmed by stress.

I don't have time to write about my change of mind since we've got Battlestar Galactica on in half an hour, and then dinner at the Cooper residence, but stay tuned as the answer will be up in the next 24 hours.

Later.